There are plenty of bad bosses out there. There are plenty of good bosses that we periodically hate. The relationship we have with our boss is often a cycle of love/hate. The trick to having a successful boss/employee relationship is quickly moving from the hate cycle back to the love cycle.
When you are in the I love my boss cycle the boss can do no wrong. You happily come to work, are eager to have your one-on-one’s and provide status updates. When they give you feedback you accept it with an open mind and happily apply it. All is well in the land of work.
When you are in the I hate my boss cycle things are quite different. You avoid status updates, pray that the one-on-one gets canceled and your stomach does somersaults when their name appears on your caller ID. You may even get a little nauseous when your phone alerts you to a new work email. You think to yourself that everything will be OK if you can just get through the week. When next week comes you find you are still in the hate cycle.Uncover the root cause of the I hate my boss rut by asking these questions:
Are you slacking off and fearing it catching up to you? If this is true it is time to pick up the ball and start running with it. Make a list, prioritize it and start checking things off as done. You would be surprised how quickly you can obtain some wins, rebuild your confidence and move into the love cycle.
Are you not receiving any good feedback and feel you can only do wrong? It’s time to have an honest and frank discussion with your boss. They may not know they are only coming to you with problems. When you go to them make sure you are ready to discuss some of the wins you have had recently.
Are the interactions you are having with your boss negative? Initiate discussions with them that are not surrounding problems and are solution oriented so that you can start to have more positive interactions.
Are you missing your targets and unable to turn things around? Sometimes we add undue stress to ourselves because we know we are falling short on a goal. We anticipate our boss being upset about this and will work to avoid the confrontation. If your boss is a good one, they will help you through it and not put you down for it. The anticipation is often worse than the event so confront your boss and ask for help.
Is your boss stuck in a rut themselves and not realizing that you are bearing the brunt of it? The boss is often under a lot of pressure. They should always work hard to shield you from that pressure and to make sure only the right stuff flows down. They are human too and sometimes forget to make sure that only the good stuff comes down to you. Let them know you are there for them and are working hard to make their job easier.Relationships aren’t one way. Two people play a role in how the relationship is progressing. It is important to ask these and other questions to help you understand the role you might be playing when stuck in the I hate my boss cycle.
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